Self-Evaluation Post #1

My mistake was number 13, a run on sentence. I forgot to put a coordinating conjunction after the comma, so it became a run on sentence.

I learned a lot from this process. Most importantly, write more than 1200 words for the first draft, lol. I found that it wasn't nearly enough, so that when I revised it only ended up being around 900 words. Also, make sure to highlight only the essay when doing word count, lol. I found that putting it off to the last minute also was not very effective. I went brain dead after working on it for five hours straight, so it wasn't as good as it could have been. I also missed a couple of stupid mistakes that I could have corrected if I had looked back in later. I also found out I have trouble with Pie style, my writing likes to be a little all over the place in the paragraphs themselves. On the other hand, I found this new thesis writing style worked very very well for me. It made it a lot easier than it normally is for me.

I also found that I did not have many problems with grammar. I read a lot and that gives me a basic sense of what is wrong and what is right. I don't know all the exact rules and the prospect of learning it seems daunting, so I'll worry about it later, if it becomes a problem.

I tried to apply everything from all the lectures. I have to say I failed miserably on the PIE, but I think I did fairly well on the rest. My thesis fit the checklist, as did my introduction and conclusion. This opened my mind a bit more about writing. I used to think more in formulaic ways when it came to writing, following the format to the letter. I never really thought there were other styles out there besides the five paragraph style. Now I know there are different styles and its up to me to find the one that fits me best.

Prewriting Blog#2

The prompt I've chosen is Advertising. Though I think that there is more information on the other prompt, it being the main subject of most of the reading, I was really angered by the Killing us Softly 3 video, mainly because how true it is. Though it may not make a big difference in the world, I can at least show someone the truth of advertising. I plan on using a lot from that video in my report, as well as from Jib Fowles essay. I plan on focusing on the misrepresentation of women, and how negatively it effects them. I need to find more statistics and background information on the subject in general. I will probably be going and watching Killing us Softly 1 and 2. I think the primary outcome for this essay is to learn, more than anything else. I have to remember that my audience is probably not all that interested in my essay, because it is one of many. I have to make it stand out.

Reading Blog #4

Erik Miller, 17
Shirt-5 dollars from Goodwill.
Shorts-12 dollars from target
Glasses-100 dollars, paid for by medical.













Student
Working for a better life.
Over seventeen million students are attending college here in America. Out of that, twelve million or so graduate with at least a Associates degree. These varry from Math, to English, to Science, and everything in between. These students carry the future of our country on their shoulders. I attend Sierra College, hoping to get a AA degree in math, and move on to a university to become a teacher. I grew up all over northern California, moving many, many times. This is why it is so important for me to go to college. So I can afford to stay in one place.

I live at home with my parents at the moment, and all my school money goes to them, so they can pay rent and bills and food. That makes it so that I can focus on school work alone. I'm hoping to make between 30,000 to 40,000 a year as a elementary or high school teacher, as well as make some money on the side working on computers.

Prewriting Blog#1

I finally finished the reading! Following the reading process does slow down my reading a lot, but I also feel that I understand it better. I don’t have to read it again and again to understand what they are saying… most of the time anyways. Based on what I've read so far, I'm going to go with prompt 2, Democratic Society. It seems to me, that there is more information on this subject and as I always have trouble with quantity, let alone 1200 words, I'm going to need all the info I can get! I’m also interested because though I’m not following the traditional ‘American dream’ I do have an idea of what an ‘American dream’ is and have my own opinions on it. Despite that, I’m a little worried about that this is a compare and contrast essay. That's never been my strongest skill. Most of my knowledge of essays revolves around persuasive essays because that was required for the CHSPE, so we didn't focus too much on the others. As my ‘audience’ is going to be my classmates I’m going to have to make it interest and show how it applies to them.

Reading Blog 3

"Being American" is being free. It means your free to live your life as you will as long as you do not negatively effect other peoples lives. In this, it is me that agrees with my mom, rather than her agreeing with me. I got the idea from her.

A society in which everyone has a say in the laws and everyone has the same freedoms. My mom defines it as the people are aloud to chose who their rulers are.

They are very closely tied together for me. I think it is hard to have one without the other. I don't think people in monarchies are free, and people in democracies without freedom are not truly in a democracy. In this case, my mom agrees with me. She believes that they are closely tied, though she doesn't explain why.

Reading Blog 2

To consciously examine your thinking process and your thoughts is to ‘think critically’ or that’s what I think. In banking style classroom there is no critical thinking. As a matter of fact, that kind of classroom discourages critical thinking, as you are not supposed to ‘think’ about what your learning, you are supposed to basically memorize it whether it be accurate or not. In a ‘non-traditional’ classroom, critical thinking is more likely to be encouraged. That way, the student is more actively learning rather than passively being ‘filled’. In banking style, the teacher is a container of knowledge, filling the empty student, while in the other, the student and teacher exchange knowledge, and encourages each other to grow further. Some teachers might be resistant to a ‘non-tradition’ learning environment, because they are no longer the superior force that they are when they are the only container of knowledge. A student may be resistant to a ‘not-traditional’ learning environment because it requires them to become active, unlike in the banking where they are passive. They have to intact with the other students and the teacher to really get what they need out of the class.